So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
