Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I bet he comes in French.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize