In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
