I'm jealous of your bromance
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
