party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
