you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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