Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
