Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
