After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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