I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
