We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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