It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize