worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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