Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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