woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
