We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize