My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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