We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
