Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
it glows. i had to have it.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize