dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
