I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Randomize
