Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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