I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
did i walk over a car last night?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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