Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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