he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
