quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
