therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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