sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
