I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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