I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
