Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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