i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
false alarm, still single
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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