I CAN MOONWALK!
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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