margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
They took my balls.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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