When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
