Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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