I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
