I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
