i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize