There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I touched a dick in church today
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
