What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize