Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
