You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
operation have a gay friend backfired
Farmville is her only friend.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
