rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
