At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
