Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
