do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
