Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
