Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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