when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
