so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
