Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
