Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Randomize
