is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
