thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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