i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
