Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
