wake up i wanna do it froggy style
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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