i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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