I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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